Elon-D-Must-Trump are opening their obscene mouth on the HD TV set of the Nippon Zen Master, who gets increasingly disgusted before striking down the supremacist-marketing- pornography show with her remote. She promises not to turn the TV ever again and suggests driving to the seaside. It will be some sort of Sunday American detox before I travel to Hiroshima tomorrow to meet the physiotherapists \u2014aka the Aikido black belts.<\/p>\n
Nutty Dread<\/b><\/h4>\n
It is another scorching morning of the hottest September on record, and nobody dares to complain about dehydration, disintegration or climate change. Before leaving the house, I ask if I should bring my swimming suit.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you nuts? When it is THIS HOT the ocean is overflown with jellyfish! Don\u2019t even dare it!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n We drive the burning asphalt and the wheels of the vintage Volkswagen slide through the pavement with sticking voracity. It feels like driving Trump\u2019s lukewarm sperm over Elon\u2019s Mouth. I consider saying it, but thankfully I don\u2019t. The NZM looks at me suspiciously and parks the car. We get out and walk into a little shack overlooking the glimmering coast.<\/p>\n The water is full of swimming bodies. I wonder if they are immune to jellyfish when an old lady greets us with tea and nuts and offers us a seat. I say arigato gozaimasu, and next thing I self-immolate a back molar with the chew.<\/p>\n \u201cThis is not for eating! They are ornamental sea pebbles!\u201d<\/em> She untimely says.<\/p>\n I quietly spit the shards of my broken pearl, and ask if it would be okay to go swimming with my underwear on. The disgusted grimace on the NZM will never be greater. It is the most hopeless MAGA Japanese face on record. Next thing, she teaches me a lesson by saying \u201cWhat time is your train tomorrow. I\u2019ll give you a lift.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n We stare at the sea in dazed silence until she says that the whole stereotypical narrative portraying the Japanese as stock market maniacs is nothing but an urban myth. Next thing she checks her financial app and howls like the last wolf of Humanity. \u201cThe lift is on stand-by: if that motherfucker wins, I won\u2019t get enough cash for petrol ever again.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cThe motherfucker always wins,\u201d<\/em> I reply. It is a borrowed line from the song attached here, \u201cThe Luckiest Man Alive,\u201d<\/em> by The Next New Low.<\/p>\n Coming morning I leave the house before the NZM wakes up. I want to avoid her the pain of giving me such an expensive lift. Xmas is coming and Trump-Must are becoming. There is not much hope outside the obsessively neat and furious borders of this island \u2014except for the train.<\/p>\n It is my first bullet ever. I see its white mouth slowing down before the station and I can\u2019t help but remember Falkor, the dragon in \u201cThe Never-Ending Story.\u201d<\/em> Their arrival is greeted with the most corrosive high-pitched loudspeaker in the beloved history of trains. Inside there\u2019s a seat with my name on it. I bow to my neighbour, and engage with the reading of my broadsheet.<\/p>\n My neighbour is the unquiet American, and as soon as I seat he starts avidly reading my copy of the Japan Times<\/i>. I\u2019m 600K and ONLY two hours away from Murakami Sensei, the 79-year-old man who said: \u201cWhen I was young I used to train every day, but now that I\u2019m old I only do it six times a week.\u201d<\/em> It happened last year, on the day we met, during class, just before devouring a plate of fried jellyfish and gulping down a box of 24 beers with the help of his students.<\/p>\n I remember the story and I inevitably text the NZM: \u201cI\u2019m inside the Falkor bullet and I have just remembered that Murakami and I wolfed a plate of jellyfish exactly a year ago. I guess the moral of the story is that \u201cyou must eat what you can\u2019t swim?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n I fold the newspaper and stare at the unquiet American. He looks out the window. The landscape melts like content dripping from the peak of Mount Fuji into Elon\u2019s Must mouth. It is the beauty of high-speed trains: you move steadily at a vertiginous speed that defies physics and angles, until realising that you are not travelling a straight line but a circle<\/p>\n The unquiet American is eating a sandwich and checking his phone with a circumspect face. I extend the copy of the Japan Times<\/i> and he cancels the ingestion. The breadcrumbs and the mayo are smearing his pink polo and yellow slacks. He is a dusty blonde of steel blue eyes and rosy lips, and I immediately consider fucking him in the five star moving toilets. I start the pre fucking survey:<\/p>\n \u201cAre you a Ralph Lauren model?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cHa! I wish!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cInjured tennis player?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cAre you a writer?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cAnd you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cYes, I am. I used to edit the piece of broadshit you just gave me. It still unnerves me to see it. It is like cracked cocaine, you know?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cMaybe if you elaborate…\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cNo matter how high you get, you\u2019d always end up hitting the next new low.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Before Trump-Must there was William Randolph Hearst, the first media tycoon that tried to break and enter the White House. He had employed Mussolini as a correspondent for one of his many infamous newspapers, the FOX News of its time. Unlike Trump, he had rivals who could articulate more than one sentence without frantically scratching their noses \u2014namely Roosevelt. Orson Welles colossally demolished Hearst in \u201cCitizen Kane\u201d<\/em>, a phenomenal movie that the magnate hated as much as Trump hates \u201cSuccession.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n I give the unquiet American a few minutes to consider me and forget the history of journalism. I glance at him with a hard-on that defies jelly and perhaps fishes. It is his turn to conduct the pre-fucking survey.<\/p>\n \u201cSo what do you write about?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cMostly about what I talk about with strangers\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cAnd what would that be?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cRight now? It could be jellyfishes and toilet-fucking with Trump-Must citizenshits.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n The silence is prodigal. We use the Japan Times<\/i> to disguise the protuberant walk to the moving jax. Once inside, after a glorious friction, he says \u201cHiroshima Mon Amour,\u201d<\/em> and then we both becum.<\/p>\n Before I pull up my trousers I notice a breadcrumb perfectly resting on Elon\u2019s Must crumpled mouth.<\/p>\n \u201cIt looks like a piece of tooth to me,\u201d<\/em> Ralph Lauren says. \u201cWeird, ain\u2019t it?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n \u201cHappy new weird, indeed.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.fiestaybullshit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/000274840006-1-scaled.jpg\")
<\/b><\/h4>\nJelly bluff<\/b><\/h4>\n
Lift Less but\u2026<\/b><\/h4>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.fiestaybullshit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/000274840003-scaled.jpg\")
<\/b><\/h4>\nThe Unquiet American<\/b><\/h4>\n
Cuntent<\/b><\/h4>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.fiestaybullshit.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/000274830001-scaled.jpg\")
<\/b><\/h4>\nBecuming <\/b><\/h4>\n